Dave Simms

"This page is really funny!"

If you've been to watch Sheffield Steelers ever, then you'll have heard Dave Simms! He is the match night announcer and also commentates on BBC Radio Sheffield for Steelers away games. One of the biggest rivalries in all sport must be between Sheffield Steelers and Nottingham Panthers, and Dave makes sure everyone is aware of this! In an attempt to be highly amusing in true INTO THE STORM style, there now follows 20 things Dave Simms would never say

There are now 55 things! If you have any more, please mail them me! Many thanks to Dave Simms himself for not only being happy for this page to exist, but also for e-mailing me a number of comments to be included on the page!

If your browser doesn't support embedded sound then you will be missing a 10 second spell of Dave Simms commentary currently playing (if it's loaded yet) that is part of the Sheffield Steelers song Whoosh it's behind you!. You can download the clip by clicking here. It is a .wav file and is approx 80K in size. Incidentally, if anyone has got a WAV clip of Dave Simms REALLY giving it something then e-mail me the clip or the URL of it!

  • And don't forget, keep your eye on the pies at all times...!
  • Apologies! My brummie accent is really annoying!
  • Manchester Storm have been the most consistent team in ISL this season and I'm confident they'll win some silverware!
  • The Manchester Storm have more British players than the rest of the Superleague put together!
  • Jamie Leach was the best player Sheffield have ever had!
  • Mike Blaisdell is one of the most respected managers in British ice hockey! (You might not believe it but DS said this along with a lot of other nice stuff about Uncle Blazer and the Panthers at Timmy Cranston's Testimonial)
  • Oy Timmy Cranston, pick on someone your own size!
  • When I read that 20 things I would never say, I laughed so much I nearly bought a round (at Little Timmy Cranston's bar, naturally)
  • Don't forget, we never boo the opposition, we just cheer twice as loudly... (etc!)
  • Corey Beaulieu, is SO misunderstood, he's really a fluffy bunny all squishy and marshmallowy inside!
  • At the Sheffield v Nottingham game (on Boxing Day 1997) with 1:40 left on the clock he said "2 minutes left in the final period"
  • Tonight's shorts sponsors for the Sheffield Steelers are Industrial Pimps! (You might think that he wouldn't say that, but he did at a game last season!)
  • Congratulations Panthers, you outplayed us in every department!
  • Elvis wont be leaving early tonight, he's enjoying seeing us get beat!
  • Our defence is stronger than OJ Simpson's!
  • If you'd like to join the players in Tim Cranstons Sports Bar after the game, feel free!
  • Welcome on to the ice the Slimfast Slimmer Of The Year, Jamie 'VD' Horst!
  • That Chris Kelland must be as old as my dad!
  • Hey look at that great play by the Panthers!
  • And welcome to tonight's game in the European Hockey League...!
  • Goal number twenty for the Peterborough Pirates!
  • Oh no I've got tonsilitis...! (that's what we wish he would say anyway!)
  • Sorry can't speak any louder, I seem to have lost my voice!
  • Boom Boom Boom Let me hear you say JAGO...!
  • I wish I was as young as Ken Priestlay!
  • Please welcome onto the ice LIGHTNING JAAAACCCKKKKKK!
  • With the team we've got this year we'd be lucky to beat Billingham!
  • Or one thing Dave Simms would never do... That dance that Jon Hammond does to that song whilst wearing the Storm big hand in the penalty box - you know the one where you look like you're riding a horse or something!
  • Is there any noise for the Storm? (when we are on the wrong end of a 9-4 tonking)
  • You're right, Nicky Chinn does eat pies! (and then 4 months later at Tim Cranston's testimonial, he said more or less that!)
  • And tonight's winners at the Sheffield Arena are The Manchester Storm!!!!
  • ...anything quietly!!
  • I model myself on Jon Hammond .. what excellent suits that man has!
  • Come down the the House of Steel next week for a CLOSE encounter against the Storm!
  • I'm too modest to say this ........
  • Final score tonight Steeeeeeelers 1, Bracknell 5 (oh, errrm...)
  • And Steelers really are reaping the benefit from their junior development system!
  • We're so s--t it's unbelieveable!
  • I'm too modest for my shirt!
  • I'm a Brummy, so lets hear more noise for Solihull!
  • As a Sheffielder born and bred .....
  • Four million for the Steelers, far too much, I wouldn't give you 4 quid!
  • I'm lost for words!
  • I can't think of anything sensible to say, so I'll just shut up for now!
  • Sorry madam, you were only holding that ladder leading up to the radio gantry for me and you were not shaking it, my apologies!
  • What a great defence Manchester has!
  • Play the new Steelers CD? Not likely, we play only decent music here!
  • What a great coach Mike Blaisdell is!
  • No, the Panthers didn't want to get rid of Matt Tricket!
  • Is Jeff Hoad on his way out of Nottingham?
  • Thankyou for that standing ovation in Lower Parliament Street!
  • He shoots...he scores...he must be Brent Bobyck!
  • GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAL Number 9 for the Panthers!!!!
  • Elvis and Alex Dampier have just left the building!

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