MISCONDUCT!



WE'RE SO SH*TE IT'S UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, what can we say???????????

May we point out (mainly to the people who were sat behind us in Block 112, last night, who were shouting "Get off Finnie, you're rubbish!") that, the netminder is the LAST line of defence, there are five other players on the ice who are more than capable of clearing the puck from our defensive zone! So, in no way, shape or form should ANYBODY criticise John Finnie's or Eric Raymond's performance against Cardiff. They put everything into their performance! Which cannot be said about the other seventeen members of the team!!!!!!!!!!

MISCONDUCT! have decided not to be down in the dumps about this humiliating experience! (the only reason we didn't nick off to the Arches before the game had ended was because the Cardiff fans would have waved at us!!!!!!!!!!!) Cardiff should realise, however, that we have done them a big favour in keeping the Steelers well behind them in the league table (as we don't really want the Steelers to win).

We would also like to question John Lawless' decision to award the "Man of the Match" to Stephen Cooper, a defenceman, when we lost??????????? (both awards should have gone to those "CHEEKY DEVILS!"

We also think that John Lawless should sit down with Paul Heavy and have a cosy little chat...Perhaps he may pick up some tips!

Thankyou Kindly
A protective (towards our net minders)
MISCONDUCT!



STORM v SEAGULLS (THE REMATCH 15/1/97)

Once again The MISCONDUCT! Team were in attendance! To our sheer delight Ruggles scored the first goal! (it just pea rolled past Colum Caterpillar - He just had no idea where it was!!!) We would also like to point out that it should have been 3-2 not 5-2!

FIRST - Ryan Kummu (a.k.a. Diego Maradonna) scored Ayr's first goal with his glove (or is that "Hand of God") not his stick!

SECOND - Mark Woolf's so called goal didn't even cross the line...We know as we were sat right behind the goal..It bounced off Raymond's pads, hit the post and bounced straight out..In no way, shape or form did it cross the line..EVER! (We did protest to the guy with the receding hair line who was in charge of the switch that controls the goal lights - Who incidently was stood at the end near the entrance and who was obviously distracted). At which point MISCONDUCT! were heard to scream "OI! SLAPHEAD, THAT WAS NO WAY A GOAL!!!"

Early in the first period there were an awful lot of Ayr fans suffering from "Premature Congratulations"...they all jumped up to celebrate a goal - as we saw it rebound off the post and were heard to say "HA! HA! SIT DOWN!"

We were also subjected to some fan abuse (shameful we know) from some children (who seemed to appear from nowhere) telling us this:-
"Maaanchisterrr or crrraayp" and that "Earr or brrrulllllierrrnt" (think scottish accent).

Soon after that, we scored our second goal and we celebrated this fact in the faces of these young children, then we asked the stewards to move them, otherwise there would have been a death!! A few minutes later two big fat meatheads appeared and just sat behind us, we think it was big brother!!!! But they soon left as we didn't say anything to them, but then again they didn't say anything to us.

Another matter we'd like to bring up is the matter of seating in the Centrum - in the programme it clearly states "In the interests of safety, please do not watch the game from the upper concourse. Please remain seated during play". Yet some Ayr fans remain standing on the upper concourse until Ayr score and then they'll find seats (not necessarily their own, behind any away fan will do!). Yet nothing is done by the stewards or parents even, to keep the younger fans under control.

We also noticed a sign in the bar area saying this:-
"ALCOHOL IS NOT PERMITTED OUT WITH THE BAR AREA"

We didn't take the bar area out with us (mainly because it wouldn't have fitted in the car) but thankyou kindly for the offer anyway!

MISCONDUCT! would also like to ask:-
"Does Nickelson always ref Ayr home games or is it just coincidence?!"

Finally, we would like to thank kindly, the Storm player's coach driver for showing us a quicker and less bendy route out of Ayr to the motorway. We did fire you off once we got to the motorway and we were in bed tearing out the Z's by 2.50am. THANKYOU KINDLY!!!!

We're just curious to discover which member of Storm went to the toilet first as there was a lot of nifty breaking and swerving (that seemed quite familiar to us having travelled on the Stormforce away coach!)

Thankyou Kindly
A well travelled
MISCONDUCT!

P.S. What happened to the lads who played against the Washbisons on Sunday?



JUST A SUGGESTION

We think that instead of playing a song when a GREAT SAVE! is made, they should use footage from the film Silence of the Lambs, where Dr.Hannibal Lecter is wearing his face restraint (which does resemble a net minders mask) and use the phrase "I DON'T THINK SO CLARISE". What D'ya fink eh?!

Thankyou Kindly
MISCONDUCT!

P.S. Don't you think Chad Penney looks like the cartoon character Arnold in the cartoon "Hey Arnold!"



KUMMU - MY HERO!

We recieved a letter!! (woooo!) from an Ayr fan and it goes as follows:


This was the MISCONDUCT! reply:

Thankyou Kindly
MISCONDUCT!

P.S. Kummu is our hero too!.........NOT!!

P.P.S. If you change the "G" to a "K" in Ayr's No 21 surname........



NOTTINGHAM - MAGIC ELBOWS AND DR. PHIBES

Well....what can we say....It sure was a good performance..by Nottingham, they hit the puck so skillfully under the boarding once under pressure!! And then there was Ruggles with his MAGIC ELBOWS!!!!!! Even the commentators on Sky couldn't understand why that was called (the man was nowhere near him). It's no wonder Storm played bobbins, Nottingham had Dr. Phibes (see Hammer Horror films) on their side, playing the organ! They were probably scared to death that they'd get eaten to death by locusts! (we half expected them to applaud the organist and turn to see a spinning chair and to hear a haunting voice saying "COME VULNAVIA!"). Anyway the less said about that match the better.

Thankyou Kindly
ACCIDENTAL MISCONDUCT?

P.S. Doesn't Mike Morin bleed well! It was the best performance of the night!



LOOK AT ME I'M INTERESTING!

We couldn't help but notice at the Storm v Hawks game that Nick Crawley was wearing THE most loudest and hideous orange shirt that we have ever seen in our lives that seemed to be screaming "LOOK AT ME I'M STILL INTERESTING!"

Yet another word from the wise....."NICK MAN....BIN IT....It makes you look like a hairdresser!!"

Thankyou kindly
MISCONDUCT!



COOPER IN NEED OF NEW HEAD GEAR SHOCKER!

It has been brought to our attention that Steve Cooper's helmet flattens his ever so perfect hairstyle (see Arches postmatch). We believe that if said helmet could be designed around the shape of his hair (like those plastic Elvis wigs...you know the ones!) he would benefit greatly from it (then again so would Nick Poole and Jeff Sebastian).

Thankyou kindly
MISCONDUCT!

PS. If Nick Crawley is indeed a hairdresser does he style all of Storm's hair, or just the three mentioned above?!



AN ACCIDENTAL GATECRASH

Due to our hours of work on Monday 23 December (It was 10:15pm when we eventually finished), we decided to go to the Arches for a pint before going home. And who should we stumble across stumbling over a bar stool but Mr Vegas himself! We had indeed gatecrashed the Storm's christmas party!! And we would just like to say they sure were rowdier than a rowdy thing! And they got a better selection of music than we get in the Arches! (And the same chap did the disco at our christmas party and played the same sh*te and came out with the same stupid comments). We would have joined in the festive fun but alas MISCONDUCT! didn't get an invitation...sniff...sniff!

Thankyou kindly
a slightly miffed
MISCONDUCT!



THE CHRISTMAS FUN NIGHT

As always the MISCONDUCT! Team were in attendance!! A BRILLIANT AND SUCCESSFUL EVENING! (the best this season anyway) and one of the members of MISCONDUCT! did manage to stay upright on skates and skated with some players (unfortunately Daryl Lipsey refused to help remaining and struggling members of our team, we managed OK but for a slight and accidental collision with Eric Raymond. Honest it was accidental!!). A good night was had by all! We would also like to take this opportunity to point out that Satan himself invented the skates that you hire at ice rinks...we're not sure if it was before or after he invented olives (they are what evil tastes like) but that is another story!

Thankyou kindly
(with sore feet)
MISCONDUCT!



A BIG THANKYOU

We would like to take this opportunity to thank John Lawless kindly for signing the "Magically Babelicious" Eric Raymond. It has to be said that:- "IF HE WERE PRESIDENT HE'D BE BABERAHAM LINCOLN"

Thankyou kindly
MISCONDUCT!



WHO IS LIGHTNING JACK?

We have our very own theory on said subject...

We suspect (but can not yet confirm) that the man behind the hideous little critter is none other than......

No:1 COLIN "SAFE HANDS" DOWNIE !!!!!!!!

Here are the reasonings behind this logic:

Let us know what you think!
Answers on a postcard to.......


Thankyou kindly
MISCONDUCT!



STORM AT BLACKBURN

Who was that number 8 in black? Blackburn should get rid of him, he was dire!

Thankyou kindly
MISCONDUCT!

P.S. Is Ronan from Boyzone, Finnie with hair? And is Nick Poole Nutty Joe from Eastenders?
Answers on a postcard...........



THE FUN? RUN

We participated in the run thing at the Nynex (we raised over 100 by the way) and we would just like to say.......

It most certainly was not fun to run! It is a long way around that concourse, we can tell you that for nothing! All the members of the team (except two) made an appearance. They also did a marathon autograph session, which cunningly got them out of running too much! We would also like to pose the question - Did they have to get any sponsors or was this yet another cunning plan - "get the fans to do the work!"

Having said this the team were very patient and friendly whilst being beseiged by hundreds of fans demanding their attention, even Lightning Jack got mobbed!

It was the "new" arena "stewards" that were less patient with the fans. It is an impossible job to tell children to wait until the end to get autographs while the team were more than willing to take time out to do so.

Thankyou kindly
MISCONDUCT!



THAT AYR GAME

We went to Ayr on Thursday and well, what can we say? The match was never going to go our way because the referee was from Ayr and used to play ice hockey for Ayr anyway, and he was Folka in disguise! And Kummu needs muzzling and kept on a short lead! The man needs committing! We thought Ruby had a bad temper, but this man took the cake and ate it! (without paying too)

Thank you kindly
MISCONDUCT!



WIDE BOYS AT THE ARCHES

It has come to our attention (we cannot reveal our sources) that some Storm players are in fact as wide as their padding!

The prime culprits are :

Our sources suggest that they are in fact beer guts of English proportions! Even to the point where they hang over their belts! And they say they keep in shape! Well we say "PAH!" to that little myth.

A word from the wise "It's not big and it's not clever so...SUCK IT IN LADS!"

Thankyou kindly!
MISCONDUCT!



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