MISCONDUCT! MUST APOLOGIZE SHOKKA!
We are more than aware of the length of time it has taken us to write, however, there are valid reasons......
1) The MISCONDUCT! PC crashed spectacularly and we have lost all our work that we have ever done and every single mail we have ever received!
2) Christmas and New Year - parties and beer were essential!
We can only say that we are very sorry indeed.
A now sober
A BIG THANKYOU FOR THE NEW MISCONDUCT! LOGOS!!
They sure are acer than the acest thing ever!
So we will say a great big THANKYOU KINDLY! TO :
STORM IN HOCKA SHOKKA!
Is it just us or has anyone else noticed the spitting competition that takes place during every match?
The rounds are as follows :
Round 1 - During the National Anthem, standing on the blue line, who can spit onto the Storm logo in the centre of the ice.
(The reigning champion Jim Hrivnak, whose ice hocking expertise is legendary - he is after all NHL standard - is now forced to stand on the edge of the crease to give the others a head start. You may also notice that occasionally Woody cheats and times his spitting with that of Hrivnak and it globs together, we understand that this adds weight and helps it to skid that little bit further, sometimes even hitting the opposition)
Incidentally, at the Nottingham match (25/11/97), Mike Morin had been disqualified for cheating and was made to stand on his own (our sources indicate that illegal substances may have been involved).
Round 2 - From the bench, see how far they can spit.
(They all cheat at this, by mixing saliva with water, which produces a water fountain rather than a good old fashioned glob of spit but it seems that some players haven't yet mastered control and still spray! The smokers on the team have an obvious advantage in this round)
So, now all we require to know is...which poor soul cleans it up and is it kind of like mopping up the bile that dogs vomit? (one third of MISCONDUCT! is an ex-kennel maid, thankyou)
You'll never look at oysters in the same way again
THE CURSE OF THE "A"
It has been brought to our attention that any player who receives the mystic "A" are led to believe that it stands for "Assistant" ,but we know that it actually stands for "Abysmal" (oh for sure) For example, last year - Jeff "Elvis Aron Presley" Sebastian sported an "A" and oh for sure "A" stood for "Abysmal"...He goes to Nottingham minus an "A" and what d'ya know "Sebby in talent shokka!"
Hilton Ruggles disposes of his "A" gets a mention on "They Think It's All Over" and becomes "Krell the Tormentor" to be seen on prime time television soon!
This year Brad Turner was benched for not putting in enough effort (on the ice obviously) and then was dropped from the team. And the rumours are that he was even stripped of his Ciro suit.
Craig Woodcroft - We believe if he dropped the cursed "A" he'd be playing like the magnificent Eric Lindros! And oh for sure, he would have kicked the pie eater out of the arena, via the roof!
Brad Rubachuk - Since gaining the "A", we have noticed, that "Ruby" is not short for Rubachuk, it is the colour he turns when he steps on the ice. He has also lost the ability to fight. From this day forward, he is to be known as Ribena Berry Ruby with "A" and not "C".
An uncursed (so far)
We have come to the conclusion that the printers read all the hooha on the forum about the programme and are now deliberately making mistakes...on purpose and eeeverything.
We are therefore destined to forever have spelling mistakes in the programme, which the printers obviously find amusing!
eg. Pim Dempsey, Mike Moria (again),Marie Stokes and Nottingham are actually a ream of 500 (previously 480) and not a team of 21 (at last count) after all!!
We know what you're doing and we're not amused
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